That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
