Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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