So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
