Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
