the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
