i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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