why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
