Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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