we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
