When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
