She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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