If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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