what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
