woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
