He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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