Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
