the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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