Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
