oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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