I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
