porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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