the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
