I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
