I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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