i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
