I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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