she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
