I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish i was in the wii world.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
