so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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