I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
