so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
