Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
