Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
