I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
