my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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