saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
