I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
