She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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