Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
