I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
