I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
