Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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