the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
