Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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