i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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