the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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