I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have post one night stand depression
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