redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
