i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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