how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
