I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
