the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
