Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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