im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
