She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
