May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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