He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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