Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can text with my tongue
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
