Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
