She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am available for nakedness
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
